When Camilla went to the post office to pick up a package before Christmas, she got a little surprise. Lately, she had been feeling like she was complaining about everything and everyone. She wasn\’t happy with anything, nothing was good enough, nothing was to her liking. Wanting to change that about herself, she immediately started reading a book. She had a strange feeling that if she learned something new from the book, it would help her. It was so strange, so random, and so strange that she did not even know why. She read the book, as they say, in one day, in one sitting. It was because it contained some guidelines for improving relationships.

She and her boyfriend Tomas often had disagreements and fights that were unpleasant. So, in consultation with Tomas, she decided to try the method described in the book. This method consists of three steps. The first step is to listen to what the other person is saying, because most of the time, arguments occur at the moment when the partner who is listening does not understand correctly. When this happens, everyone is merely arguing about their own truth, their own vision of the world. So, for what one

says (the speaker), it is better to ask the other (the listener) to repeat

in his own words

how he understands the speaker

.

The speaker then either confirms with agreement that the listener has understood himcorrectly, or explains how he intended to differ. Initially, such communication between Tomas and Camilla was quite twisty and lengthy. Much patience and tolerance was required. But as time went on, it became clear that it was important to listen well and understand each other better. They decided to use this method when either of them felt that something was beginning to boil over inside them. Just as has been their custom. After a while, they were pleasantly surprised to find that their communication had improved a lot.

When Camilla went to the post office to pick up a package before Christmas, she got a little surprise. Lately, she had been feeling like she was complaining about everything and everyone. She wasn\’t happy with anything, nothing was good enough, nothing was to her liking. Wanting to change that about herself, she immediately started reading a book. She had a strange feeling that if she learned something new from the book, it would help her. It was so strange, so random, and so strange that she did not even know why. She read the book, as they say, in one day, in one sitting. It was because it contained some guidelines for improving relationships.

She and her boyfriend Tomas often had disagreements and fights that were unpleasant. So, in consultation with Tomas, she decided to try the method described in the book. This method consists of three steps. The first step is to listen to what the other person is saying, because most of the time, arguments occur at the moment when the partner who is listening does not understand correctly. When this happens, everyone is merely arguing about their own truth, their own vision of the world. So, for what one

says (the speaker), it is better to ask the other (the listener) to repeat

in his own words

how he understands the speaker

.

The speaker then either confirms with agreement that the listener has understood himcorrectly, or explains how he intended to differ. Initially, such communication between Tomas and Camilla was quite twisty and lengthy. Much patience and tolerance was required. But as time went on, it became clear that it was important to listen well and understand each other better. They decided to use this method when either of them felt that something was beginning to boil over inside them. Just as has been their custom. After a while, they were pleasantly surprised to find that their communication had improved a lot.